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THEME BY LOSTMEMENTO
“I know that look. It’s the look I used to give people when they would ask me if Matty or Justin are my older brothers. It’ll get better once he moves out and you only see him on holidays.” She joked, turned to face Rocket, pulling her legs up under her. The girls seemed uncomfortable and Emmy didn’t know why. Then again, she didn’t know the girl well enough to know why she looked uncomfortable.
“It’s pretty good. It makes you feel pretty good about yourself. One of those things where you just kinda take a step back and realize that who you are is perfectly fine and always will be. Veronika’s got a very ‘fuck everyone, I’ll do as I please’ way about her.” Emmy said. She was pretty envious of Veronika, aside from the near-death experience part, and had always wanted to be like her. “Are you okay? You look uncomfortable or something. Are you cold or something?” She asked. She felt the air getting colder as the night went on, but Rocket had on a sweatshirt, so the cold air probably wasn’t hitting her so bad. “There’s a cafe a few blocks down if you wanna go get something to get?”
“Well, you know how it’s like then, yeah? You want to be your own person, but either way, people are still going to know you as the little sister,” Rocket wasn’t completely sure if that’s what Emmy was talking about feeling, when she said that she recognized ‘that look’ but part of her hoped it was. Having someone who got what it was like to put under that title would be nice. Not so she would have someone to complain about it to, no, but knowing that there was someone who got it was comforting in some weird way.
“I’ll have to pick it up at some point,” she said, making a mental note to actually do so. Still not sure if the book would be entirely helpful, but it was worth a shot right? Besides, reading it would give her something else to do besides wander around in the near middle of the night. “Are you okay? You look uncomfortable or something. Are you cold or something?” The words caught Rocket a little off guard, and stayed quiet as the other girl proposed heading to the cafe. “Yeah, it is getting a little chilly,” she lied, nodding, and hugging her arms together. “So, sure. Let’s go to this cafe”
ooc I can’t decide if taking a train after 10pm is a good idea or not. It’s clear to me now that I’m suronded by weirdos but the thing is they’re entertaining weirdos for the most part at least
-edit theres a old couple arguing in another language like no one else is here. its hilarious. just priceless. totally overrules the creepy guy at the far end yup
I’ll write Spider’s response soon :)
Take your time! :) Like I said, I’ve got an hour on this train, haha, and then I’ve still got to reply to Emmy
ooc: I’m mobile so I’ll write my replies when I get back to my computer. I know I owe Emmy, but do I owe Spider yet? I’ve got another hour on this train with nothing to do x/ grrr.. haha
“It’s really good. Actually, it’s fucking amazing. It’s all about perception and the way you see life and yourself and it’s really eye-opening. Honestly, everyone who has ever tried to commit suicide should be handed that book.” She said. She had read the book while sitting in the hospital with Vee after he had tried to kill himself and it gave her a little glimmer of hope. She’d read it to him, too, but she didn’t think he liked it nearly as much as she did. “It takes place at a mental institute and it’s about finding yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. It’s beautiful.”
“He’s great.” She said, smiling as she looked down at her hands. “Your brother is Jamie, right?” She asked. She wasn’t sure, but was also pretty hesitant to ask. She knew how much she hated being asked if she was Matt and Justin Fisher’s little sister. Rocket probably felt that same way. She hated when people didn’t regard her as her own person, instead just recognizing her as her brother’s baby sister.
“Oh really? Sounds interesting,” she said, nodding, and unconsciously tugged on the sleeves of her sweatshirt, making sure they covered her arms fully. The cutting wasn’t all that bad yet, and she definetly wasn’t near suicide, but something about the topic made her uncomfortable. It was like Emmy knew, even though she knew it was impossible. But she had just met her. Well, she had seen her before, yes, but as far as real conversations with Emmy, this was a first. She didn’t want to be seen as Vee’s younger friend, who was totally depressed. She just wanted to be Rocket again. Hell, she would even be Rosemary if it meant things could go back to the way they once were. Before she felt like this.
”Yup,” she said. She was used to the question, and the idea didn’t bother her as much as it used to. She wanted to be her own person, but people were going to constantly associate her brother, so why try and fight it? Instead, she just smiled softly and answered the question, “He’s my brother,”
“Sounds to me like you’ve read Veronika Decides To Die.” Emmy said, smiling softly. That book had been her favorite since she first picked it up. The way it was written to give the impression that normal was the new crazy and crazy was the new normal had always appealed to her. She loved the depth and truth about it, but most importantly, she loved that it gave her a reason to act any way she wanted to.
“Vee’s letting me stay with him, actually.” She told her, pulling at the sleeves of her sweater. She hadn’t told many people she was living with him and she wasn’t sure who all Vee had told, so she didn’t know if Rocket would know, or if she would even care. The main thing Emmy was worried about was Kat finding out and then throwing some sort of huge hissy fit over the whole thing. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with Kat at any time, especially not over a matter that came to Vee. After getting the hole put in her leg by Kat, she had decided she would rather not cross the girl again.
“Actually, no,” she said, giving the other girl a small shrug. “Not much of a reader I guess..” She trailed off, looking down again. She scratched the nape of her neck, trying to give her hands something do. She tended to get fidgety when she didn’t know what to say. “I’m guessing being partially crazy is part of it?”
“Oh nice,” she said nodding, “He’s a sweet guy,” She wasn’t close to all of her brother’s band mates, but Vee was one of the ones that didn’t just write her off as Jamie’s little sister. Plus, he was also the one that was willing to put up with her and teach her how to produce. An unrealistic dream, she knew that, but she liked that he didn’t just shoot it down.
“Of all the places to go when you want to be alone, why this street corner, then?” He asked, motioning around toward the street signs they were standing by. Of all the places to go to if you wanted to be alone, a street corner was the first place Spider usually thought of. He was on his way to the diner up town, just happening to walk the same street that Rocket was going down.
“Hey, I don’t care about the state of my lungs. However, that doesn’t mean I think a pretty little girl like yourself should be rotting her mouth, lungs, and sending that much nicotine to her brain.” Spider said, giving her a pointed look. He knew what he sounded like, but it was just because he didn’t care what happened to him.
“Why not this street?” she asked, turning towards him, and looking up. It might be hard to get Rocket to start talking, but once she got started, good luck getting her to stop. She was an opinionated young girl, and if she was going to speak, she was going to speak her mind. “It’s as good as anywhere else in this town. So why not?”
“Pretty?” she asked with a slight laugh, suddenly feeling self-conceious again. The idea of actually being good enough, in anyway really, for some reason made her uncomfortable. Maybe it was because she didn’t want people to get their expectations up, only for her to let them down. “You’re a singer right? Well you have more reason to not rot your lungs out. You’re going places. I’ve got a street corner that expects my company,”
(Source: rocket-clark)
